1
00:00:05,180 --> 00:00:09,664
Oh, honey, are you gorgeous!

2
00:00:09,664 --> 00:00:11,464
You look just like a virgin.

3
00:00:11,464 --> 00:00:14,932
Here, I brought you some crackers
 for your morning sickness.

4
00:00:15,441 --> 00:00:18,330
So, when are you and
 Danny gonna set a date already?

5
00:00:18,330 --> 00:00:23,012
Oh, you know me.  
Always a bridal consultant, 
never a bride.  Right, Danny?

6
00:00:23,012 --> 00:00:27,503
What can I say?/Well, how 'bout, 
"Here's a ring.  Pick a pattern."

7
00:00:29,180 --> 00:00:32,720
I'm serious.  We've been 
pre-engaged for three years already.

8
00:00:32,720 --> 00:00:36,911
I'm sorry.  I should have said this sooner. 
I wanted to do it some place nice.

9
00:00:36,911 --> 00:00:39,071
Oh, wow!

10
00:00:39,071 --> 00:00:41,855
All right, here goes.

11
00:00:41,855 --> 00:00:44,782
I've been thinking 
we should start seeing other people.

12
00:00:46,158 --> 00:00:48,753
What?  Since when
 you been thinking that?

13
00:00:48,753 --> 00:00:51,022
Since I saw Heather Biblow.

14
00:00:51,665 --> 00:00:53,844
I can't believe 
you're telling me this.

15
00:00:53,844 --> 00:00:56,808
What, were you stringing me along
 'cause I'm your best salesgirl?

16
00:00:56,808 --> 00:00:58,294
That's the other thing:

17
00:00:58,294 --> 00:01:00,118
Heather needs a job.

18
00:01:02,034 --> 00:01:04,168
You're firing me?

19
00:01:04,168 --> 00:01:06,571
I can't believe
 I just wasted three years

20
00:01:06,571 --> 00:01:09,654
of an ever dwindling 
youth on you and this dump.

21
00:01:09,654 --> 00:01:12,843
You can't fire me,
 Danny Imperiale,

22
00:01:12,843 --> 00:01:16,372
I quit!...

23
00:01:17,075 --> 00:01:21,709
No, you fired me... That way
 I could collect unemployment.

24
00:02:14,092 --> 00:02:18,542
Hello, I'm Fran Fine, your Shades
 of the Orient Cosmetics representative.

25
00:02:18,542 --> 00:02:21,686
Oy, what a loser!

26
00:02:21,686 --> 00:02:24,757
Hello, I'm Fran Fine.
/Yes, come in.  We've been expecting you.

27
00:02:24,757 --> 00:02:28,255
Oh, you have?
/You are here for the nanny position?

28
00:02:28,255 --> 00:02:30,362
I could be.

29
00:02:30,362 --> 00:02:34,667
Wow!  This place is nicer 
than my Uncle Jack's condo in Boca.

30
00:02:34,667 --> 00:02:37,772
And, you know, he bought the model.

31
00:02:39,458 --> 00:02:42,191
May I present your resume
 to Mister Sheffield?

32
00:02:42,191 --> 00:02:44,407
Uh, resume?  You know what,

33
00:02:44,407 --> 00:02:48,669
why don't you go get this Mister Sheffield
 and I'll do the resume presenting myself.

34
00:02:48,669 --> 00:02:51,953
As you wish. This oughta be good.

35
00:02:53,616 --> 00:02:56,213
We're never gonna find 
an actress for this part.

36
00:02:56,213 --> 00:02:58,775
Ann Miller part, 
Gwen Verdon part,

37
00:02:58,775 --> 00:03:02,992
Rube Keeler part. 
 Away I believe.

38
00:03:02,992 --> 00:03:06,837
What's she doing on this list?
/Relax, darling.

39
00:03:06,837 --> 00:03:09,457
You need a Chatzu...

40
00:03:09,457 --> 00:03:11,408
Sorry to interrupt, sir.

41
00:03:11,408 --> 00:03:14,927
I see you're working hard
 as always, Miss Babcock.

42
00:03:14,927 --> 00:03:17,998
The theater always
 been a passion of mine.

43
00:03:17,998 --> 00:03:22,358
Hmm... I can't wait to see
what you'll be mounting next.

44
00:03:24,886 --> 00:03:26,137
Yes, Niles, what is it?

45
00:03:26,137 --> 00:03:28,606
Sir, there is a new nanny
 waiting to be interviewed.

46
00:03:28,606 --> 00:03:32,678
What happened to the old one?
/Brighton staged another fake suicide.

47
00:03:32,678 --> 00:03:37,174
Best one yet.  Spread eagle 
on the marble with a bit of
 ketchup trickling from his ears.

48
00:03:37,174 --> 00:03:39,865
We've got half the money people 
in New York coming to our backer's party,

49
00:03:39,865 --> 00:03:43,364
and I will not have 
those children running loose.

50
00:03:43,364 --> 00:03:48,181
Not that I don't love them 
as if they were my very own.

51
00:03:48,181 --> 00:03:50,977
Hm-hmm.
/I do.

52
00:03:52,907 --> 00:03:56,048
Oh, oh...

53
00:04:02,173 --> 00:04:05,294
Do you have a pen?

54
00:04:05,294 --> 00:04:07,331
Forget it.

55
00:04:07,331 --> 00:04:10,387
Brighton, you're 
losing your touch.

56
00:04:10,387 --> 00:04:11,883
I'm Maxwell Sheffield.

57
00:04:11,883 --> 00:04:15,306
This is my son, 
the late Brighton Sheffield.

58
00:04:15,306 --> 00:04:18,057
Wait, I know you.

59
00:04:18,057 --> 00:04:22,410
Esquire Magazine, New York's 
ten most eligible widowers?

60
00:04:22,410 --> 00:04:25,629
My condolences, by the way.

61
00:04:25,629 --> 00:04:26,957
You read Esquire?

62
00:04:26,957 --> 00:04:31,510
When they list the ten
 most eligible widowers I do.

63
00:04:31,510 --> 00:04:33,506
Hi, I'm Fran Fine.

64
00:04:33,506 --> 00:04:35,934
Well, do come in.

65
00:04:35,934 --> 00:04:38,376
Oh, boy, do you have
 gorgeous chatchkas.

66
00:04:38,376 --> 00:04:41,519
Uh, beg, beg your pardon?

67
00:04:41,519 --> 00:04:44,454
Oh, you know, your bric-a-brac. 
 Dust collectors.

68
00:04:44,454 --> 00:04:46,560
Oh, the Rodan.  
Yes, well,

69
00:04:46,560 --> 00:04:52,081
he was, he was well 
known for his bronze chachkas.

70
00:04:52,081 --> 00:04:56,182
May I see your resume, please?
/Oh yeah sure.  Here.

71
00:04:57,323 --> 00:04:59,173
Crayon?
/Lipstick.

72
00:04:59,173 --> 00:05:02,249
Of course.  
And what a lovely shade.

73
00:05:06,550 --> 00:05:07,940
I hate her!

74
00:05:07,940 --> 00:05:09,916
Now, Brighton, 
let's not be hasty.

75
00:05:09,916 --> 00:05:13,117
Yeah, I haven't even sung
 "Climb Every Mountain" yet.

76
00:05:14,131 --> 00:05:19,041
Miss Fine, you seem to have
 listed the Queen Mother as a reference?

77
00:05:19,041 --> 00:05:21,487
What?  Let me see that.

78
00:05:21,487 --> 00:05:23,910
Oh no, that's not
 the Queen Mother.

79
00:05:23,910 --> 00:05:27,860
That's my mother from Queens.

80
00:05:27,860 --> 00:05:30,490
Hi, Daddy.
/Oh, hello, sweetheart.

81
00:05:30,490 --> 00:05:32,876
Maggie.
/Hello, Father.

82
00:05:32,876 --> 00:05:35,985
Oh boy, are you gorgeous.

83
00:05:35,985 --> 00:05:37,729
And look at that hair.

84
00:05:37,729 --> 00:05:42,942
You see, now you cannot get color 
like that from out of a bottle.  No way.

85
00:05:42,942 --> 00:05:45,913
I'll, I'll be in 
my room doing my homework.

86
00:05:45,913 --> 00:05:49,081
Really lights up a room,
 doesn't she?

87
00:05:49,081 --> 00:05:52,629
You don't need personality
 when you're an heiress.

88
00:05:52,629 --> 00:05:56,483
So, sweetheart, 
how was therapy today, hmm?

89
00:05:57,124 --> 00:05:59,351
Any, any breakthroughs?

90
00:05:59,351 --> 00:06:01,789
Doctor Vern and
 I did some regression.

91
00:06:01,789 --> 00:06:06,037
She took me back
 to my childhood.

92
00:06:06,037 --> 00:06:09,092
Must have been a quick trip.

93
00:06:09,092 --> 00:06:14,973
Oh, you have no idea 
how complicated I am.

94
00:06:14,973 --> 00:06:16,524
Therapy, huh?

95
00:06:16,524 --> 00:06:19,194
It was a lot easier
 than talking to us directly.

96
00:06:19,194 --> 00:06:21,336
All right, that's it,
 Brighton.  Go to your room.

97
00:06:21,336 --> 00:06:22,876
All right.  Come on, Gracie,

98
00:06:22,876 --> 00:06:27,416
let's leave Father alone to hire
 someone else to take care of
 his problem children.

99
00:06:27,416 --> 00:06:31,038
Oh, you're a bitter 
little person, aren't you?

100
00:06:31,038 --> 00:06:33,558
Oh, we're gonna get along fine.

101
00:06:33,558 --> 00:06:37,395
I'm, I'm sorry you had to 
see that. I'll show you out.

102
00:06:37,395 --> 00:06:40,021
What did I do?  One smart
ass remark from the kid,

103
00:06:40,021 --> 00:06:42,313
and I don't get the job?
  That's not fair.

104
00:06:42,313 --> 00:06:45,379
As you can see, 
I need help here.

105
00:06:45,379 --> 00:06:49,467
More help than can be provided 
by a door-to-door cosmetics girl.

106
00:06:50,044 --> 00:06:53,898
Niles?

107
00:06:53,898 --> 00:06:56,581
Oh, for god sakes, 
I'll get it.

108
00:06:56,581 --> 00:06:58,449
Sheffield Residence.

109
00:06:58,449 --> 00:07:00,383
No, honey, it's Fran.

110
00:07:00,383 --> 00:07:02,634
Give, give me... Give me that.

111
00:07:02,634 --> 00:07:05,324
It's the nanny agency

112
00:07:05,324 --> 00:07:08,419
Maxwell Sheffield here.

113
00:07:08,419 --> 00:07:09,649
Thank you.

114
00:07:09,649 --> 00:07:11,531
Oh, yeah, right.

115
00:07:11,531 --> 00:07:13,184
No.  No, Monday is
 not acceptable.

116
00:07:13,184 --> 00:07:18,256
Listen, I need
 a nanny this weekend...

117
00:07:22,483 --> 00:07:25,997
Do you have any experience
with children?

118
00:07:25,997 --> 00:07:29,014
Are you kidding?  I practically 
raised my sister's two kids

119
00:07:29,014 --> 00:07:32,191
when she was suing her chiropodist.

120
00:07:32,191 --> 00:07:33,616
There has to be another agency.

121
00:07:33,616 --> 00:07:35,381
Oh, please, I come from Flushing.

122
00:07:35,381 --> 00:07:38,686
There is nothing 
these kids can throw at me that
 I haven't seen before,

123
00:07:38,686 --> 00:07:42,328
except maybe their trust funds.

124
00:07:43,771 --> 00:07:45,868
All right, you're hired. 
 But on a trial basis.

125
00:07:45,868 --> 00:07:47,606
Oh, thank you, 
Mister Sheffield.

126
00:07:47,606 --> 00:07:49,620
Thank you so much. 
 You won't regret it.

127
00:07:49,620 --> 00:07:52,642
Somehow, I'm rather sure I will.

128
00:07:52,642 --> 00:07:55,118
Niles will show you
 to your room.

129
00:07:55,118 --> 00:07:59,913
Oh, the nanny gets to live here?
/Is that a problem?

130
00:07:59,913 --> 00:08:04,035
Oh yeah, I'm sure I'm gonna miss
 being twenty-nine and still
 living at home with my parents.

131
00:08:04,035 --> 00:08:08,097
But if it's best for the kids...

132
00:08:08,097 --> 00:08:13,982
Twenty-nine.
/Don't start with me, Niles.

133
00:08:26,306 --> 00:08:29,247
Good morning, everyone.

134
00:08:29,247 --> 00:08:33,667
Oh, that Jacuzzi tub really knows 
how to perk a girl up in the morning.

135
00:08:33,667 --> 00:08:35,493
Do you people sleep like that?

136
00:08:35,493 --> 00:08:37,983
No.  In a rather
 astounding coincident,

137
00:08:37,983 --> 00:08:41,354
I sleep in a pair of pink fuzzy 
slippers, just like yours.

138
00:08:41,354 --> 00:08:44,526
A simple "we dress for breakfast"
 would suffice.

139
00:08:44,526 --> 00:08:48,251
You have to tell me these things,
 Niles./I simply assumed.

140
00:08:48,251 --> 00:08:53,151
Don't assume anything with me.
  I'm from Flushing, for god sakes.

141
00:08:53,151 --> 00:08:55,266
Oh, I just love a good buffet.

142
00:08:55,266 --> 00:08:58,033
It's free, Miss Fine. 
 You're allowed to go back.

143
00:08:58,033 --> 00:08:59,760
Oh...

144
00:08:59,760 --> 00:09:01,994
Oh, where do I sit?

145
00:09:01,994 --> 00:09:04,572
The previous nanny 
sat in the kitchen.

146
00:09:04,572 --> 00:09:07,543
Oh, how anti-social.

147
00:09:08,939 --> 00:09:11,491
So, kids,
 what shall we do today?

148
00:09:11,491 --> 00:09:15,475
Shall we take a walk in the park 
or maybe just kick back, 
hang around the mansion?

149
00:09:15,475 --> 00:09:18,179
We have to go somewhere.
  Father has kicked us out again.

150
00:09:18,179 --> 00:09:19,734
Now, Brighton, I didn't kick you out.

151
00:09:19,734 --> 00:09:24,212
I merely asked that you not torment
 the caterers while they're preparing
 for this evening's soiree.

152
00:09:24,212 --> 00:09:26,495
Oh, a soiree, huh?

153
00:09:26,495 --> 00:09:29,280
Well, I got a sister
 who's a caterer.

154
00:09:29,280 --> 00:09:34,284
She does a pork au depurno,
 that's French for pork and prune,

155
00:09:36,981 --> 00:09:41,432
not only delicious,
 but a natural digestive.

156
00:09:42,663 --> 00:09:44,612
Thank you for sharing that, Miss Fine.

157
00:09:44,612 --> 00:09:46,096
I could get you a deal.

158
00:09:46,096 --> 00:09:48,457
No, that's all right.
C.C.'s made all the arrangements.

159
00:09:48,457 --> 00:09:51,160
C.C.?  What's a C.C.?

160
00:09:51,160 --> 00:09:52,696
Father's lady friend.

161
00:09:52,696 --> 00:09:55,783
Maggie dear, 
she's a business associate.

162
00:09:55,783 --> 00:09:57,814
Hm-hmm.

163
00:09:58,892 --> 00:10:00,515
Well, I just hope 
there's enough food.

164
00:10:00,515 --> 00:10:05,458
You know, shikzas are notorious 
for not ordering enough food.

165
00:10:05,458 --> 00:10:08,835
Booze, yes, but food 
they don't know from.

166
00:10:09,296 --> 00:10:12,807
Shikza... 
Is that a chatchka?

167
00:10:12,807 --> 00:10:16,217
Yes, but they cost a lot more.

168
00:10:18,601 --> 00:10:22,133
It's Miss Babcock for you, sir.
/Oh, thank you, Niles.

169
00:10:22,133 --> 00:10:24,622
I'll take her
 in the library.

170
00:10:24,622 --> 00:10:28,563
Hmm... Miss Babcock loves
to be taken in the library.

171
00:10:29,303 --> 00:10:31,126
I'll bet.

172
00:10:31,126 --> 00:10:35,159
So, kids, we're having a party. 
 What are we gonna wear?

173
00:10:35,159 --> 00:10:38,034
We're not invited.
/And neither are you.

174
00:10:38,034 --> 00:10:40,597
Oh come on, your father's paying for it, 
of course we're invited.

175
00:10:40,597 --> 00:10:43,486
We'll eat, we'll drink, 
you'll bring a date.

176
00:10:43,486 --> 00:10:45,040
Maggie doesn't date.

177
00:10:45,040 --> 00:10:47,718
Never?/Boys haven't noticed me yet.

178
00:10:47,718 --> 00:10:51,955
Oh, they've noticed Maggie, 
and that's why you don't date.

179
00:10:53,203 --> 00:10:55,808
What is wrong with you, Brighton?

180
00:10:55,808 --> 00:10:59,241
Middle child syndrome.
/	Thank you, Sybil!

181
00:10:59,241 --> 00:11:01,722
Now knock it off!

182
00:11:03,753 --> 00:11:06,893
Knock it off, all of you. 
 We're a family here.

183
00:11:06,893 --> 00:11:09,291
Now we have a party tonight,
 there's a lot we have to do.

184
00:11:09,291 --> 00:11:12,357
We'll go shopping, get 
our hair done, get a manicure.

185
00:11:12,357 --> 00:11:15,874
You'll get a French tip. 
 It's a very clean look.

186
00:11:15,874 --> 00:11:19,512
So I'll go get changed, 
and then we'll go, we'll do.

187
00:11:19,512 --> 00:11:22,460
I'll just take this.
  I hate to waste.

188
00:11:24,107 --> 00:11:25,623
Dad is gonna hate this.

189
00:11:25,623 --> 00:11:29,656
C.C.'s going 
to totally freak.

190
00:11:29,656 --> 00:11:32,222
Sounds like a party to me.

191
00:11:36,474 --> 00:11:38,893
So, well, what's 
your favorite color?

192
00:11:38,893 --> 00:11:40,775
I don't know.

193
00:11:41,470 --> 00:11:43,196
Beige?

194
00:11:43,832 --> 00:11:45,815
Oy.

195
00:11:45,815 --> 00:11:48,409
So, Gracie,
how are you doing, honey?

196
00:11:48,409 --> 00:11:51,309
I'm feeling empty and alone.

197
00:11:52,786 --> 00:11:54,833
You want a tic-tac?/Okay.

198
00:11:54,833 --> 00:11:55,877
All right.

199
00:11:55,877 --> 00:11:59,404
So tell me about your new job already.
  Who's the guy?  Where's the house?

200
00:11:59,404 --> 00:12:01,658
I brought pictures.  Wait.

201
00:12:01,658 --> 00:12:02,945
Here.
/Ahh...

202
00:12:02,945 --> 00:12:06,216
That's my boss.  Cute, huh?
  A little repressed though.

203
00:12:06,216 --> 00:12:10,247
But what a head of hair.
/And it's all his.

204
00:12:10,247 --> 00:12:13,396
Oh, that's the butler, Niles.
/A butler?

205
00:12:13,396 --> 00:12:17,671
Oh it's very classy. 
/Val, it's like living at Ceasar's Palace.

206
00:12:18,158 --> 00:12:21,793
And the kids.  Yeah, well, you know,
they're gonna need the most work.

207
00:12:21,793 --> 00:12:24,663
I mean, that one's
 got no personality.

208
00:12:24,663 --> 00:12:28,300
This one's got multiple 
personality.

209
00:12:30,315 --> 00:12:33,429
And Brighton... Brighton? 
 Where's Brighton?

210
00:12:33,429 --> 00:12:36,253
Are these dummies
 anatomically correct?

211
00:12:36,253 --> 00:12:40,937
Why are you there?  You're ten 
years old; would you be normal?

212
00:12:40,937 --> 00:12:43,356
All right.
  Oh, cool, a cockroach!

213
00:12:43,356 --> 00:12:45,461
Hey, you got any rats?

214
00:12:45,461 --> 00:12:48,989
Wait till Danny gets back. 
Where is he, anyway?

215
00:12:48,989 --> 00:12:50,363
Getting his back waxed.

216
00:12:50,363 --> 00:12:53,791
Oh good, so we got all day.

217
00:12:53,791 --> 00:12:56,851
Okay, well, we gotta
 make Maggie beautiful.

218
00:12:56,851 --> 00:12:59,698
Yeah, like that's gonna happen.
/Shut-up, Brighton.

219
00:12:59,698 --> 00:13:03,131
Hey, be nicer to your sister.
/Why?  Because we're a family?

220
00:13:03,131 --> 00:13:07,868
Yes, that's right.  And someday, 
your father's gonna be old and sick.

221
00:13:07,868 --> 00:13:10,590
You're gonna want him to live with her.

222
00:13:16,336 --> 00:13:18,960
It's so fancy. 
 Everyone'll look at me.

223
00:13:18,960 --> 00:13:21,690
So?  They'll think
 you're a beautiful girl.

224
00:13:21,690 --> 00:13:24,843
I, I don't know. 
 I'm not good at this like you are.

225
00:13:24,843 --> 00:13:27,115
Honey, that's
 what I'm here for.

226
00:13:27,115 --> 00:13:29,376
What d' you think? 
 You turn fourteen and boom,

227
00:13:29,376 --> 00:13:35,546
you've got the savoir-faire and
sophistication of a woman 
of my years and experience?

228
00:13:35,546 --> 00:13:40,480
Look, when I was fourteen...
 Go try it on.

229
00:13:41,595 --> 00:13:44,080
Who knew this job 
would be so demanding?

230
00:13:44,080 --> 00:13:46,774
Please, I'm exhausted.

231
00:13:55,704 --> 00:13:58,690
Has anyone told you how
 handsome you look this evening?

232
00:13:58,690 --> 00:14:01,106
Maxwell, you're such a flirt.

233
00:14:01,106 --> 00:14:04,060
It's going rather well, 
don't you think?

234
00:14:04,060 --> 00:14:07,235
Oh, it's perfect. 
 The food is exquisite.
  The music divine.

235
00:14:07,235 --> 00:14:10,913
And the guests 
obscenely wealthy.

236
00:14:10,913 --> 00:14:13,786
Doesn't Ivana look marvelous?

237
00:14:13,786 --> 00:14:16,558
My surgeon, of course.

238
00:14:16,558 --> 00:14:18,902
Miss Fine would like
a word with you, sir.

239
00:14:18,902 --> 00:14:20,720
Oh, really?
  Where is she?

240
00:14:20,720 --> 00:14:22,422
I'm up here.

241
00:14:24,380 --> 00:14:26,853
What's that?

242
00:14:26,853 --> 00:14:29,691
That's the nanny.

243
00:14:29,691 --> 00:14:31,996
Hey, hey, the lady in red.

244
00:14:31,996 --> 00:14:35,528
The place is all crazy
 for the lady in red.

245
00:14:35,528 --> 00:14:37,526
Look at that dress.

246
00:14:37,526 --> 00:14:38,719
Maxwell!

247
00:14:38,719 --> 00:14:41,610
You look nice, too.  I said that.

248
00:14:41,610 --> 00:14:45,070
Handsome.  You said handsome.

249
00:14:45,070 --> 00:14:49,931
You like?  I borrowed it from 
my cousin, Miss Long Island
 Nineteen-Eighty-nine.

250
00:14:49,931 --> 00:14:52,940
A very good year.

251
00:14:52,940 --> 00:14:55,136
Oh... I just wanted to tell
 you the children are ready.

252
00:14:55,136 --> 00:14:57,703
For what?/To come to the party.

253
00:14:57,703 --> 00:15:00,455
Miss Fine, the children
are not invited to the party.

254
00:15:00,455 --> 00:15:05,082
They're not? 
 Oh, is my face red?

255
00:15:05,082 --> 00:15:07,725
Well, now it matches
 the rest of you.

256
00:15:07,725 --> 00:15:11,732
Oh, there's that rapier 
wit we've come to count on.

257
00:15:11,732 --> 00:15:13,763
Yes, well, now we've
 all met each other,

258
00:15:13,763 --> 00:15:16,675
why don't you go back upstairs and
 inform the children they can't come.

259
00:15:16,675 --> 00:15:18,414
Hi, Daddy.

260
00:15:18,414 --> 00:15:21,553
Oh, Miss Fine, you play dirty.
 Hello, sweetheart.

261
00:15:21,553 --> 00:15:25,729
You like my party dress?
  Lohemanns, seventy percent off.

262
00:15:27,239 --> 00:15:31,093
She'll never shop retail again.

263
00:15:31,093 --> 00:15:34,063
Hi, Dad.  Surprised?
/No tricks, Brighton.

264
00:15:34,063 --> 00:15:36,331
Best behavior.

265
00:15:38,314 --> 00:15:40,197
All right.

266
00:15:42,915 --> 00:15:46,382
Come on, Maggie.  
Don't be shy, honey.

267
00:15:47,204 --> 00:15:53,988
My God, I had no idea how much
 she looked like her mother.

268
00:15:53,988 --> 00:15:56,019
You like it?

269
00:15:56,019 --> 00:15:57,958
Oh, you look so,

270
00:15:57,958 --> 00:16:00,157
so grown-up.

271
00:16:00,157 --> 00:16:03,743
So, Daddy,
 can we come to the party?

272
00:16:06,206 --> 00:16:08,727
Of course you can.

273
00:16:08,727 --> 00:16:11,695
We'll discuss this later.

274
00:16:11,695 --> 00:16:15,066
Friends, friends, can I have
 your attention, please?

275
00:16:15,066 --> 00:16:18,133
Before I tell you a little
 about my latest production,

276
00:16:18,133 --> 00:16:24,023
I'd like to introduce to you 
the three greatest productions of my life

277
00:16:24,023 --> 00:16:28,191
my dear children.

278
00:16:29,812 --> 00:16:34,794
Oh, isn't that sweet?
Couldn't you just drop dead?

279
00:16:34,794 --> 00:16:37,580
I don't know. 
 Could you?

280
00:16:37,580 --> 00:16:38,931
Let me take a picture.

281
00:16:38,931 --> 00:16:40,937
Miss Fine, I think you've
 done enough.  And if I...

282
00:16:40,937 --> 00:16:43,239
Lovely family, Sheffield.

283
00:16:43,239 --> 00:16:45,508
Smile, everyone.

284
00:16:45,508 --> 00:16:47,242
Great!

285
00:16:48,348 --> 00:16:51,550
You might want to...
keep a low profile.

286
00:16:51,550 --> 00:16:53,938
You're a little out of 
your element here.

287
00:16:53,938 --> 00:16:57,403
Oh, don't worry about me. 
 I've been to my share of affairs.

288
00:16:57,403 --> 00:17:01,047
My Uncle Jack threw a weekend 
bar mitzvah with a Star Trek theme

289
00:17:01,047 --> 00:17:04,452
that they're still talking about.

290
00:17:04,452 --> 00:17:05,996
Goodnight, Ivana.

291
00:17:05,996 --> 00:17:10,007
Don't worry, honey,
you'll find someone else, too.

292
00:17:11,435 --> 00:17:14,093
Niles, more.

293
00:17:14,093 --> 00:17:17,267
Well, do I count 
four zeros on this check?

294
00:17:17,267 --> 00:17:18,685
All right, I'll admit it.

295
00:17:18,685 --> 00:17:22,228
Having the children here
 this evening wasn't the complete
 disaster it might have been.

296
00:17:22,228 --> 00:17:24,571
Oh, Mister Sheffield, you gush.

297
00:17:24,571 --> 00:17:26,683
All right, all right, 
it went splendidly.

298
00:17:26,683 --> 00:17:30,708
Here, let me put that, 
thank you, with the others.

299
00:17:31,447 --> 00:17:36,006
Well, congratulations,
 Nanny Fine.

300
00:17:36,006 --> 00:17:38,023
It seems you've pulled it off.

301
00:17:38,023 --> 00:17:43,492
Well, what could possibly go wrong
 when you put a father together
with his children?

302
00:17:43,492 --> 00:17:46,807
****************

303
00:17:52,549 --> 00:17:54,748
Maggie!/Daddy!

304
00:17:54,748 --> 00:17:58,054
Mister Sheffield, I was just...
/You were just leaving.

305
00:17:58,054 --> 00:18:00,141
Right.

306
00:18:00,141 --> 00:18:03,025
Eddie, wait!
/Maggie!

307
00:18:03,025 --> 00:18:05,516
Maggie, come back here!
/Eddie!

308
00:18:05,516 --> 00:18:07,953
Maggie...

309
00:18:07,953 --> 00:18:09,747
How could you embarrass
 me like that?

310
00:18:09,747 --> 00:18:11,012
Well, what's going on?

311
00:18:11,012 --> 00:18:13,312
That, that boy was mauling
 her on the balcony.

312
00:18:13,312 --> 00:18:14,929
It was just a kiss.

313
00:18:14,929 --> 00:18:17,552
He kissed you?...

314
00:18:19,904 --> 00:18:22,919
Your first kiss;
 that's so exciting.

315
00:18:22,919 --> 00:18:26,273
Let me get the camera.

316
00:18:26,562 --> 00:18:30,365
Miss Fine, it is not exciting.
 It's appalling.  She's just a child.

317
00:18:30,365 --> 00:18:32,548
I am not.
/She's not, you know.

318
00:18:32,548 --> 00:18:35,417
I think I'm starting
 to feel better.

319
00:18:35,417 --> 00:18:37,248
Dad, I'm fourteen years old.

320
00:18:37,248 --> 00:18:42,969
You know, when I was fourteen...
 Oh, maybe this isn't the right time.

321
00:18:42,969 --> 00:18:46,930
Maggie, go to bed and, 
and take that makeup off.

322
00:18:46,930 --> 00:18:48,301
Oh...

323
00:18:48,301 --> 00:18:49,823
You!/Me?

324
00:18:49,823 --> 00:18:52,134
Yes, you.  This wouldn't
 have happened without you.

325
00:18:52,134 --> 00:18:55,848
Yes, definitely feeling better.
/What the hell did I do?

326
00:18:55,848 --> 00:18:57,705
What did you do?  You took
 an innocent school girl,

327
00:18:57,705 --> 00:19:00,966
you dolled her up and turned
 her into a.../A young woman.

328
00:19:00,966 --> 00:19:02,713
She's just a little girl.

329
00:19:02,713 --> 00:19:04,880
Get out of here.  She's
 a woman, I'm telling you.

330
00:19:04,880 --> 00:19:09,724
And unless you're gonna dip her
 in bronze and stick her on the shelf
 with the rest of your collectibles,

331
00:19:09,724 --> 00:19:13,143
she is going to grow up 
and somebody's gotta help her.

332
00:19:13,143 --> 00:19:16,115
Oh, you are way out of line.
  She's not your child.

333
00:19:16,115 --> 00:19:19,603
That's right, she's not.  If she was,
 she wouldn't be upstairs crying right now

334
00:19:19,603 --> 00:19:22,513
on what should be a very
 memorable and exciting evening.

335
00:19:22,513 --> 00:19:24,748
Thank you for your candor 
and concern.

336
00:19:24,748 --> 00:19:26,095
You're welcome.

337
00:19:26,095 --> 00:19:27,780
You're fired.

338
00:19:27,780 --> 00:19:29,512
Fired?

339
00:19:29,512 --> 00:19:33,996
After all that I've done for you,
 this is the thanks that I get?

340
00:19:33,996 --> 00:19:38,721
You can't fire me, 
Maxwell Sheffield, I quit!...

341
00:19:40,859 --> 00:19:46,424
No, you fired me.  That way 
I could collect unemployment.

342
00:19:51,575 --> 00:19:54,211
I drove Miss Babcock home 
and called Betty Ford.

343
00:19:54,211 --> 00:19:57,874
They'll pick her up
 in the morning.

344
00:19:57,874 --> 00:19:59,275
Thank you, Niles.

345
00:19:59,275 --> 00:20:04,328
I noticed you didn't get 
a chance to eat, sir.  
I thought you might be a bit peckish.

346
00:20:04,328 --> 00:20:06,496
I over-reacted, didn't I?

347
00:20:06,496 --> 00:20:10,679
Like Reagan in Grenada.

348
00:20:12,109 --> 00:20:16,830
It's just that Maggie
 looked so like her mother.

349
00:20:16,830 --> 00:20:19,704
I've already lost Sarah, I...

350
00:20:19,704 --> 00:20:22,114
I didn't want to lose
 my little girl.

351
00:20:22,114 --> 00:20:24,625
I quite understand, sir...

352
00:20:29,314 --> 00:20:30,371
What is this?

353
00:20:30,371 --> 00:20:34,774
I believe Miss Fine calls
 it a light nosh.

354
00:20:34,774 --> 00:20:37,522
It's delicious. 
 Miss Fine, eh?

355
00:20:37,522 --> 00:20:39,904
Yes, sir.

356
00:20:39,904 --> 00:20:43,219
Just what you needed.

357
00:20:45,288 --> 00:20:49,278
Niles, you're not talking
 about the sandwich, are you?

358
00:20:49,278 --> 00:20:51,140
No, sir.

359
00:20:51,140 --> 00:20:53,640
Not the sandwich.

360
00:20:56,143 --> 00:20:58,093
Fran, you need a mallowmar?

361
00:20:58,093 --> 00:21:01,301
Oh no, Ma.  Food's not
 the answer to everything.

362
00:21:01,301 --> 00:21:06,476
Meanwhile, your father and I have 
based our entire relationship around food.

363
00:21:06,476 --> 00:21:11,620
Passion goes, sex goes. 
 Communication, we never had.

364
00:21:11,949 --> 00:21:16,283
But food is forever.
/Okay.

365
00:21:16,838 --> 00:21:23,921
Marty... You want another
 mallowmar?  Marty?

366
00:21:23,921 --> 00:21:27,335
Ma, Daddy can't hear you. 
 He's watching the game.

367
00:21:27,335 --> 00:21:33,255
Why can't I find a guy like him? 
 Deaf and on a pension.

368
00:21:33,569 --> 00:21:36,498
You will.

369
00:21:36,498 --> 00:21:39,099
I'll get it.  I'll get it...

370
00:21:41,327 --> 00:21:44,029
Oh god, Ma, it's Mister Sheffield.

371
00:21:44,029 --> 00:21:48,351
I'm sorry to disturb you, Miss Fine.  
I just wanted to drop off the rest of your things.

372
00:21:48,351 --> 00:21:52,432
You could never disturb
 anyone, darling.

373
00:21:52,432 --> 00:21:55,658
I'm Fran's mother, Sylvia.

374
00:21:55,658 --> 00:21:56,955
Maxwell Sheffield.

375
00:21:56,955 --> 00:22:00,072
Come on in.  I'll make 
you some Ovaltine.

376
00:22:00,072 --> 00:22:03,235
Oh, well, I'm sure I'd love some,
 but I really can't stay.

377
00:22:03,235 --> 00:22:05,295
There's a mob surrounding
 the limousine.

378
00:22:05,295 --> 00:22:09,047
Oh, I'll take care of that. 
 Wait a minute here.

379
00:22:09,047 --> 00:22:14,255
Get away from that limo!  
Nobody died! There's no vacancies!

380
00:22:14,255 --> 00:22:18,213
Oh, it's, it's dog eat dog when 
you got a two bedroom that's rent control.

381
00:22:18,213 --> 00:22:21,130
Have a seat.  Here, wait.

382
00:22:22,114 --> 00:22:24,879
Put on some blush.

383
00:22:24,879 --> 00:22:26,955
Ma, can we have a little privacy?

384
00:22:26,955 --> 00:22:28,646
All right, I can take a hint.

385
00:22:28,646 --> 00:22:33,056
Mister Sheffield, enchante.

386
00:22:36,566 --> 00:22:39,403
You have plastic 
on your furniture.

387
00:22:39,403 --> 00:22:45,588
Yeah, they're preserving it for 
the afterlife.  How's Maggie?

388
00:22:45,588 --> 00:22:49,778
Well, she isn't speaking to me,
 but Brighton tells me she's fine.

389
00:22:49,778 --> 00:22:51,012
Brighton?

390
00:22:51,012 --> 00:22:54,320
Yes.  He's been surprisingly 
attentive to her.

391
00:22:54,320 --> 00:22:59,641
Wouldn't tell me why.  
Kept saying something about me 
getting old and where I'd live.

392
00:23:01,814 --> 00:23:03,539
Kids.

393
00:23:05,618 --> 00:23:09,404
I'm sorry things didn't work out.

394
00:23:09,404 --> 00:23:11,453
Oh, look, I mean, uh,

395
00:23:11,453 --> 00:23:13,847
you and I, we come 
from very different worlds.

396
00:23:13,847 --> 00:23:17,950
I mean, if I were
you and I hired me,

397
00:23:17,950 --> 00:23:21,850
I'd be thrilled.  
Who's kidding who?

398
00:23:21,850 --> 00:23:23,937
Yes, but you're not me.

399
00:23:23,937 --> 00:23:26,594
As a matter of fact, you're not
 like anyone else I've ever met.

400
00:23:26,594 --> 00:23:32,270
Which is not altogether
 a bad thing. Necessarily.

401
00:23:32,270 --> 00:23:37,298
Perhaps if we tried to respect
 each other's differences,

402
00:23:37,298 --> 00:23:39,596
we could give it another go?

403
00:23:39,596 --> 00:23:42,596
Are you asking me to come back?

404
00:23:42,596 --> 00:23:45,353
So it seems.

405
00:23:45,691 --> 00:23:49,975
So what you're really saying is
you feel terrible about
 this whole damn thing,

406
00:23:49,975 --> 00:23:53,535
and if you could, 
you'd get down on your hands
and knees and apologize.

407
00:23:53,535 --> 00:23:55,749
Miss Fine!
/Apology accepted.

408
00:23:55,749 --> 00:23:58,504
Ma, pack my things! 
 He wants me back!

409
00:23:58,504 --> 00:24:00,855
Smile.



9999
00:00:0,500 --> 00:00:2,00
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